In America?
October 8, 2009 at 12:52 pm | In I can't think of a clever category | 1 CommentTags: Centralia, fire
I haven’t posted here in a while, and for that I apologize, but I hope to make up for it with this absolutely fascinating tidbit.
There is, right now, in the state of Pennsylvania, a town that has been essentially erased from existence due to the fact that it has been on fire for the past 50 years. Go ahead and read that again. This is not a bad movie, or a joke, or a gag.
You see, there was a town, once, Centralia, that numbered roughly 2,000 Pennsylvanians. In 1962, the local fire department lit the town dump on fire (a standard practice apparently) and accidentally ignited the coal mine running beneath the entire town.
It started burning. And it is still burning because it’s, you know, coal. And you cannot, I gather, live and work atop a continuously burning coal mine fire without experiencing some rather serious side effects. The ground there actually smokes and belches flame, and the temperature several feet below the surface is over 170 degrees.
We have managed to create, in the middle of Pennsylvania, an actual, physical, manifestation of Hell.
So, in 1984, Congress allocated $84 million to relocate all of the residents of the town. In 1992, the state claimed the entire town via eminent domain, and in 2002, the Federal Government cancelled the town’s zip code. There is essentially a several square mile dead-zone, a non-existent place, that is literally on fire, in the middle of our country.
It is estimated that the mines beneath the town will continue burning for another 250 years.
I am absolutely speechless upon learning this. Did you know about this? Did you know that this was even possible? Why has nobody ever told me about this? Why does the national news not report on this story every single night?
And who is joining me for a road trip?
Bartender please
August 11, 2009 at 8:20 am | In Food, Travel | Leave a CommentTags: bait, Food, Minnesota
I have, through the course of my career, been blessed with the opportunity to visit the most amazing places and partake in some truly unique experiences too numerous to recount. Sporting events, far-off points in distant countries, race car races, race car rides, secret hidden restaurants, giant malls, and yes, once, duck hunting. In a pond.
I’ve had the pleasure of visiting most major cities in the US. I’ve seen their airports, their downtowns, their stadiums. I’ve eaten their blue crab, their ribs, their copper river salmon, their double-double’s, their gumbo, and their cheeseburger cheeseburgers.
I have, to sum up, been around a bit.
So it was with some skepticism that I visited, last week, rural Minnesota. Once there I had the opportunity to dine at the Westwood, situated on one of Minnesota’s 10,000 (seriously?) lakes. It was at this fine establishment that I was greeted with this lovely sign, which forever elevated Mankato, Minnesota to one of my favorite places in these great United States.
Eating their own
July 11, 2009 at 7:51 am | In Politics | 1 CommentTags: Noonan, Palin, Politics
Peggy Noonan is usually a bit of a wingnut right-wing columnist. But not today. Today, writing about Palin’s resignation, she is the voice of truth:
In television interviews she was out of her depth in a shallow pool. She was limited in her ability to explain and defend her positions, and sometimes in knowing them. She couldn’t say what she read because she didn’t read anything. She was utterly unconcerned by all this and seemed in fact rather proud of it: It was evidence of her authenticity. She experienced criticism as both partisan and cruel because she could see no truth in any of it. She wasn’t thoughtful enough to know she wasn’t thoughtful enough.
You can read the full article here, and it’s well worth it. Please, please let this be the last, final word on this illiterate, ignorant twit.
By any other name
July 3, 2009 at 5:33 pm | In Business, Movies | 2 CommentsTags: Food, Pizza Hut, Star Wars
Perhaps it’s the inner geek in me, the eternally-nine-years-old Star Wars fan, but when I hear that you’ve decided to rebrand your restaurant as “The Hut,” my mind does not immediately think of this:
No.
It thinks of this:
Mmmmmm. Appetizing.
Now I will eat at your establishment.
Family Dining
July 1, 2009 at 11:42 am | In Life | 2 CommentsTags: America, Bob's, furniture, TV
Encountered on my travels last night, this rather plain looking coffee table.
But wait. There’s more.
Say that you’re, oh, I don’t know, sitting on your couch ordering a pizza through your TV. What do you do when said pizza arrives? Do you quit the television, that ever-present, ever-glowing, mind-numbing additional member of your family? Do you vacate the couch in favor of a dining room table, mayhaps to sup with your family and enjoy some evening conversation?
No, sir and madam, you need not.
What you can do, and really, why wouldn’t you, is raise your living room table to proper height and distance such that your television viewing experience may remain uninterrupted while you dine comfortably from your couch. But getting your coffee table to the proper height would be so difficult, you say.
I present you:
Dear reader, I swear that I am not being facetious here. This is the stated purpose of this table. To enable eating from the couch because, and I’m paraphrasing here, “who wants to get up from the TV just to eat dinner.”
I stood, marveling at this monstrosity, rubbing my temples in despair.
America. Please. I am begging you.
Stop. Just…..just stop it.
There is still time to turn this all around.
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